everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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