Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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