I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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