Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
