I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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