At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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