my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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