No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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