yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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