Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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