i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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