May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
