I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
