How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
