Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
