The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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