Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
