I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
