I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize