1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
