i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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