i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
