i can't believe i had my finger in that
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
did you just send me my own nude
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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