found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize