You're earring is so big in my mouth
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
