are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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