pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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