biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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