he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
