2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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