The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
