Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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