I'm lost and stupid without you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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