What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
