I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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