carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
