she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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