she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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