he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i drank out of a bidet.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
