Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
