She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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