She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Let's get the cat blown out
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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