ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
