it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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