you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
