hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
