i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
