I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
