Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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