I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
