Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If I die, sorry about rent.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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