Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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