I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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