Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
