So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
