Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
