So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
