I think im going to throw up on grandma
they need to just BURY HIM!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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