oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
