Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
