It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
its not stalking. its research.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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