Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Help me help you realize you are a moron
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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