lets start a swedish sibling band together
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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